Pussy Problems

 Yeah, OK, now that I've got your attention, I've got a real crisis on my hands. Louie, my adorable, fluffy, flabby orange tabby. My cat is over the top territorial. 
Louie is a total sweetheart, he takes naps with me, we have our daily playtime, and he purrs like a coal operated locomotive. However I believe he thinks we are exclusive.


True story:
A few months ago, after a romantic dinner I bring a man home and we are just ripping clothes off of each other from the font door. Things are hot, slamming me against the hallway walls as me make our way to my room, whereas I close the door, leaving Louie in the hall. I'm sure the only scratch marks down this guy's back he wants are from me, not my cat. Since I have had some scary moments with Louie's jealousy before and I wasn't about to allow him to ruin the mood. 


So, we are going at it pretty good, and my cat has begun having a tantrum outside my door, complete with howling. If you have ever heard a cat howl before, it sounds like a child being tortured. My luck, I have a child, who was not home at the time, not that my neighbor knew this at the time. So in the middle of pure orgasm my doorbell rings, "Hello? Police." WHAT? I answer the door in a backwards t-shirt and a silk tie still tied to my wrist. Louie, happily purring at my feet. 


My local police department had received a call about possible child abuse. After inspecting my home to insure that my child was indeed not home, well I had to explain to three officers where the child like screams had come from. To further my embarrassment, I proceeded to give them a demonstration, by asking them into my bedroom and closing the door. All of this to my sheet only clad date's absolute horror of course! I asked, (begged) my date to play along bouncing up and down on my bed, nothing happened. To my further humiliation Louie was peacefully sleeping through this chaos. It goes without saying that my date did not stick around much longer to see my local police officers again. 


So, how do I sit my cat down and explain that I need to get laid without interrogation from the local or federal authorities?  I've tried telling him NO! but he pouts and then continues acting out. I have tried the squirt bottle, however he likes water...he gets into the bathtub with me. (Whatever! Don't judge me.) I guess I'm going to have to warn guys, that our adventure may include cats, neighbors and the police. I just hope they are as kinky as I am!

An Intro to Whom I Am

I heard a quote that became my mantra. The freedom to define yourself is a power that navigates your entire life ... the best part is ... that power belongs solely to you. I take that in whole hearted.

My story is not unique: I am a college educated woman who once drove a foreign car, lived in a spacious home, and had a very expensive shoe habit, I  was a bitch in heels, until the day I became homeless. I was homeless for a year,(I had an accident, and no health insurance, I lost everything), it is one of the best things that has happened to me. I am able to move forward with strength and confidence now that I am able to reflect on the past and make improvements for a successful future.

I have redefined who I was to become the person my son can be proud of. That is what drives me, Nathan. My heart, rock, and soul. I want him to grow up, to be a proud, respectful, and sensitive man. I don't want him to be an extension of me, but a well rounded, independent man of substance.  

I am very hard on people. I encourage them to live up to their fullest potential, I demand nothing less. If I don't nag you about it, than I don't think that highly of you. I will give it to you straight, blunt and honest is my policy. If I am tough on you, imagine what I am like on myself.
I strive for perfection, and feel incredibly set back when I fail. I procrastinate and get lazy about things when I'm afraid of failure. I thrive on feedback, good or bad. It is impossible to be objective about my own problems and accomplishments. I give great advice and can help anyone sort through their problems, but can never follow my own advice.

I am sensual and dreamy. I'm just like every other girl, who's ever wanted to be held by someone else. A romantic at heart. I am terrified to show my feelings to anyone. I build walls so long and high they become igloos trapping me inside. When you isolate yourself there is no risk of getting hurt.

I'm a major klutz and some what of a drama magnet. I'm a nerd and book worm. Damn proud of it! I am a social butterfly but sometimes I also hate people. I never leave things on a To Do List undone. I would like to get my butt into shape... literally just my butt, I like everything else. Stop smoking would be one of my greatest achievements. Finally, decide if my current approach at love is the way to go, or should I be more traditional and open my heart up for more. 

I have learned to accept who I am, and the events that shaped the person I've become. I learn from my mistakes instead of regretting them. I look forward to the future and everything that it has to offer me. I will work to prove that I deserve happiness. I am blessed to have a second chance, to realize that I have the power to steer my own way, choose my own path, and take responsibility for my own actions. Yet I am scared. I search within myself every day to find my inner peace, it is my desire to become whole as a person.

And that is me in a nutshell, speaking of nuts...well I'll save that for another day! Love, hugs and kisses!
 

Life, Love and Failures

I have only been in love twice in my life. Neither time was with my ex husband ironically. That was a relationship of control and confusion.
I am still without love, for neither loves lasted. I have that problem, I am good at my job, "sex therapist"/relationship expert. My own advice I can not seem to take.
I have given up on true love and have decided that I make a great distraction in a man's life, and not a wife.
These stories will be about my past attempts at love and my new conquest as a distraction. I hope to share many laughs and tears with the true stories of my life. My favorite saying is; "I didn't make mistakes, for other people not to learn from them!" I urge you to listen and take away what you will from my events, and we will do it with lots of humor! Hugs, love and kisses!