I heard a quote that became my mantra. The freedom to define yourself is a power that navigates your entire life ... the best part is ... that power belongs solely to you. I take that in whole hearted.
My story is not unique: I am a college educated woman who once drove a foreign car, lived in a spacious home, and had a very expensive shoe habit, I was a bitch in heels, until the day I became homeless. I was homeless for a year,(I had an accident, and no health insurance, I lost everything), it is one of the best things that has happened to me. I am able to move forward with strength and confidence now that I am able to reflect on the past and make improvements for a successful future.
I have redefined who I was to become the person my son can be proud of. That is what drives me, Nathan. My heart, rock, and soul. I want him to grow up, to be a proud, respectful, and sensitive man. I don't want him to be an extension of me, but a well rounded, independent man of substance.
I am very hard on people. I encourage them to live up to their fullest potential, I demand nothing less. If I don't nag you about it, than I don't think that highly of you. I will give it to you straight, blunt and honest is my policy. If I am tough on you, imagine what I am like on myself.
I strive for perfection, and feel incredibly set back when I fail. I procrastinate and get lazy about things when I'm afraid of failure. I thrive on feedback, good or bad. It is impossible to be objective about my own problems and accomplishments. I give great advice and can help anyone sort through their problems, but can never follow my own advice.
I am sensual and dreamy. I'm just like every other girl, who's ever wanted to be held by someone else. A romantic at heart. I am terrified to show my feelings to anyone. I build walls so long and high they become igloos trapping me inside. When you isolate yourself there is no risk of getting hurt.
I'm a major klutz and some what of a drama magnet. I'm a nerd and book worm. Damn proud of it! I am a social butterfly but sometimes I also hate people. I never leave things on a To Do List undone. I would like to get my butt into shape... literally just my butt, I like everything else. Stop smoking would be one of my greatest achievements. Finally, decide if my current approach at love is the way to go, or should I be more traditional and open my heart up for more.
I have learned to accept who I am, and the events that shaped the person I've become. I learn from my mistakes instead of regretting them. I look forward to the future and everything that it has to offer me. I will work to prove that I deserve happiness. I am blessed to have a second chance, to realize that I have the power to steer my own way, choose my own path, and take responsibility for my own actions. Yet I am scared. I search within myself every day to find my inner peace, it is my desire to become whole as a person.
And that is me in a nutshell, speaking of nuts...well I'll save that for another day! Love, hugs and kisses!
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